Church, community work together to stem the tide of domestic violence

Domestic violence has different faces, experts say. Sometimes, it looks like a black eye, a broken bone or a push down the stairs. Or it can take a less visible form. Like the emotional abuse someone suffers when a partner gets angry at the house not being clean or a meal not being ready on time.

But there is one thing that Nueces County District Attorney Mark Skurka wants the community to know. By the time it gets to his office, it is too late.

“I can’t do much when she’s dead. We need early intervention,” Skurka said.

With this goal in mind, Skurka met in January with Bishop Michael Mulvey of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Corpus Christi and Frances Wilson of the Women’s Shelter of South Texas to create a plan to educate the public about domestic violence and offer help to victims and batterers.

“People listen to their priests,” Skurka said, which is the reason he approached the diocese.

With hundreds of Masses on any given Sunday, there would be a considerable reach, he said. The message is not limited only to the Catholic Church, but all faiths should get involved, Skurka said.

With help from the diocese, support groups or parish committees could be organized to provide help within the parish to those that need it, Skurka said. The committee would consist of a counselor, a social worker and someone to give advice on financial assistance; it would also include a confidential support group.

Helping educate the public and creating a safety plan is what the leaders from the Church, district attorney’s office and Women’s Shelter had in mind when they met. Other parts of the plan for early intervention involve distributing information about domestic violence at non-threatening places such as doctors’ offices and women’s restrooms.

In December, Skurka hosted a summit in Corpus Christi on domestic violence called “Stop the Silence,” where legal, law enforcement and mental health experts spoke to the public about ways to solve the problem. The goals of the summit were to educate, make people aware and to create a specific plan to help stop the violence.

From that summit, which included input from attendees, Skurka decided there was a need to get churches and schools more involved, along with more counseling for kids, who might not realize that physical and emotional abuse is wrong.

“We need to reach out to these folks,” Skurka said of those involved in domestic violence.
Bishop Mulvey agreed, and the diocese is already taking action since the meeting. The bishop directed that the name of the Office of Child and Youth Protection be changed to the Office for Safe Environment and Child and Family Resources, and their mission be expanded to include referral and educational services to parishioners and pastors in cases of domestic violence, as well as other social service needs.

“The abuse of a person is a sin against the human dignity of a person and is against the Church’s teaching. If that’s happening, that domestic home life is disrupted,” Stephanie Bonilla, the office’s director said.

Abusive behavior is not faithful to the marriage covenant, and the two people involved need to seek pastoral and therapeutic counseling separately at the beginning, Bonilla said. It is important that the couple first understand the problems that need healing within themselves, and then come together as a couple to seek reunification if it is in the best interest of all involved. The Church’s position is that safety is the primary concern, especially when children are involved, she said.

One of the community resources to which the diocese will now refer a woman and her children is the Women’s Shelter of South Texas where they can have a safe refuge in a child-friendly setting. The shelter also works hand in hand with local authorities, and a caseworker is assigned who can guide the abused individual through the legal process, including legal safeguards, Bonilla said. This can include temporary separation, she said.

“The Church is here to provide to that person a clear definition of the sacrament of marriage and what a great responsibility and sacred vocation it is. However, when elements of abuse enter in, it will provide the victim with information on what resources are available, as well as pastoral counseling and prayer, all towards the goal of that individual making the best informed decision for the family. Leaving the relationship is the last resort and is a decision the victim must make based on what’s best for the family,” Bonilla said.

But if counseling is unsuccessful and divorce is the end result because of drugs or other factors such as domestic violence, one diocesan leader says the Church will assist in the application for a Church annulment of the failed marriage.

“Sacramental marriage is supposed to be a loving relationship. No one is required to stay in a relationship where they are abused,” Msgr. Thomas P. Feeney, JCL, Judicial Vicar of the Diocese of Corpus Christi said.

Wilson, executive director the Women’s Shelter, said the community is becoming more aware of domestic violence, and there is less shame in coming forward now. She would like to see more people of all faiths discussing the issue.

“Bishop Mulvey was extremely receptive to what we said and I felt like he understood,” she said.

The shelter saw a slight increase in the number of clients it served from 2013 to 2014, Wilson said. In 2013, there were 2,523 people served. In 2014, that number grew to 2,667. There were 850 people out of that number that stayed at the shelter.

The time when women are in the most danger is when they leave or just before they leave, Wilson said. “We can help victims create a safety plan,” she said.
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