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“You can never stop discerning”
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June 26, 2024Sal’s Bronx Pizza on Yorktown Boulevard was filling up quickly. Around 60 young adults were attracted by the latest edition of Theology on Tap, this time about discernment, and after connecting over pizza or pasta, Hester Rodriguez, well-known for the restaurants she owns with her husband, introduced discernment. She is also a licensed spiritual director.
She began sharing that as a relatively new Catholic, she and her husband felt a certain discontent: “There was something God was calling us to do, but we didn’t know what it was.” The couple quit their jobs, tried out a coffee shop and eventually moved to Corpus Christi. Here, they were offered to open their own restaurant, which was not originally their plan but was a calling and a ministry. “Trust was the biggest thing to learn in discernment,” she added. In their business, they emphasize Catholic values – for example, they close on Sunday and care for their staff, “Faith is lived out through relationships.”
According to St. Ignatius of Loyola, an important prerogative in discernment is interior freedom, or “holy indifference” – to be ready to accept what in prayer and conversations with others is the option that helps fulfill God’s calling. “If you don’t know what the right decision is, take a few steps and see how it feels,” was one advice.
After her introduction, the participants could pose questions to a diverse panel of experts. This panel included Hester, Siobhan O’Connor, Director of the Diocese's Young Adult Ministry, Sr. Jessica Swedzinski, a Schoenstatt Sister of Mary, Fr. Richard Gonzales, pastor of St. John the Baptist Parish in Corpus Christi, and Bob Cummings, the Diocesan Vocation Director. The questions covered a wide range of topics, from understanding God’s will to the struggle to make the right decisions.
Can there be something like too much discerning? While discernment is a lifelong process, the panelists encouraged the young adults that there is also a moment to act after praying for guidance. And there should not be a distinction between deciding for the greater good of others and the good of us. Fr Richard was asked what kind of advice he would give to a newly engaged couple: “Read the Bible, continue to pray together” — this would be a sound basis for the future marriage.
The panelists encouraged the participants to be open to God’s plans and to share their thoughts and dreams with Him: “Maybe God gives you the drive to achieve your dreams — or maybe He’ll say, ‘I like it, but I have something else in mind,’” said Fr. Richard.
Vocation Director Bob Cummings shared what to do if family members do not understand the discernment: “God calls us to love. In Christ, there are no divisions… and I can build bridges.” And if family members are not Catholic, there are always “seeds of the Word” that can be found even in other religions, he quoted St. John Paul II.
Discernment takes time, patience and a lot of listening to God. When asked how to understand whether it’s a good idea to get involved in a romantic relationship, Siobhan O’Connor had a short and practical answer: “Ask yourself if that person brings you closer to Christ and if he or she makes you a better person.” Hester Rodriguez encouraged everyone to consider spiritual direction: " Anyone can benefit from it, and it is also available online.”
How can one be sure that a vocation comes from God and not from one’s own desires? Bob Cummings gave the guideline, “If there’s peace and joy, that is a good sign.” He felt his call as a consecrated layperson when he spent a few weeks in the community; “All my fears dissipated.” Fr. Richard was encouraged by friends to consider the priesthood, “and the more I thought about it, the more comfortable I felt about it.”
The questions kept coming until the last minute. At the end of this enlightening evening, Siobhan O’Connor thanked the YCA team, especially YCA President Liz Morales and John Dunne, for putting this event together.
